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I Have Arrived OR Have I?

So you have arrived, OR have you? Have you ever had the good fortune of watching someone you love or admire realize his or her dream? I am not talking about those things that are easily attained. Buying a house, a dream car, going to college, or the vacation trip of a lifetime are wonderful experiences. But I am talking about big dreams. A journalist who had a passion for writing in high school who becomes a nationally syndicated columnist. Now that is a big dream. Your young nephew who played basketball in the school yard now playing in college or in the NBA. Now that is a big dream. What about the little girl who had a lemonade stand on the street corner who is now a successful sales representative for a Fortune 500 company? Now that is a big dream. If we look, all of us can find such examples.

How did these successful dreamers get there? Was it luck or chance? The answer in most cases is hard work, dedication, and guidance.

Is it the people that surround them selves around us that make the difference, or is it the people we choose to surround ourselves with that make the difference? I remind you of the story of the twin boys parented by an alcoholic father. As the twins grew to adults, one son became an alcoholic, while the other remained sober. When asked, ‘Why are you an alcoholic?’ the alcoholic son replied, ‘Because my father was an alcoholic.’ When the sober son was asked, ‘Why are you sober?’ his answer was ‘Because my father was an alcoholic.’ Same answer. It is the people we choose to surround ourselves with who make the difference and the choices we make to be successful.

Why then, in many cases, when people realize a level of success, do they forget about people? Why do they say that they are too busy to help someone else? Is the answer that ‘They have arrived!?’ Recall some of the infamous ‘success to failure stories” Robert Downey Jr. is someone who became successful, got involved with drugs and alcohol and, as of this writing, is still getting into trouble regularly. What about Tonya Harding, Olympic Figure Skater? Another sad story.

How many of you know of a success to failure story? What does the person typically do? Often, they forget about their friends and supporters and they quite frequently turn to artificial stimuli.

Many of you have witnessed a person’s climb to success, only to see that same person’s dreams shatter. Once they have arrived they forget how they got there. These people get into trouble, which in itself can be OK. The problem lies in forgetting how they got there, and who helped them to get there. They need to consider the sweat of others who helped them get to where they are. To stay successful, they must give back to those who are struggling below, those who have not yet arrived. If these once successful people begin to fail, they need to ask for help. When these individuals get support, then continue to help others, they themselves will remain strong.

Some who have arrived mistakenly believe that the ‘Golden Rule’ is that ‘the one with the gold rules.’ Outer results of people with this type of belief system, or people who are satisfied entirely by their own success, are often evident from the way they present themselves. A person shows lack of respect when wearing shorts and sneakers to a community board meeting, is two or three weeks over-do for a haircut, or goes to public meetings unshaven.

People who find and maintain success are different. Successful people always seem to be thinking of ways to better the world or give back somehow. Take the example of Irvine ‘Magic’ Johnson, LA Lakers Star Forward. An encounter with HIV changed his life. However, rather than isolate in self-pity, Magic decided to use his misfortune for the advantage of others by coming out publicly about HIV. He surrounded himself with people who love him, and became a spoke person for HIV. He became a protector of our community, helping to reduce the spread of the deadly HIV virus. Magic is also a successful businessperson. The people he surrounds himself with have helped to make him a successful entrepreneur.

When people choose to continue to do the things that delivered their success, they will continue to grow and see more success. The clear message then is to surround ourselves with helpful people. Practice the concept of giving to receive to give again. When ‘getting there’ by hard work and dedication, practicing integrity along the way, we are living by the ‘Golden Rule,’ of ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’

When a ‘successful’ professional says, ‘I get 300 e-mails a day, I don’t have time for you,’ or when that same ‘successful’ professional scorns or ridicules a clever marketing idea from a well-meaning colleague, he or she may be quickly walking the path from success to failure. Reach out to these people with understanding and your new-found knowledge of true success, and help them remember how they became successful. Some day someone may be helping you on the path to success, too.

Are you operating from a point of abundance? Do you give first, then receive, so that you can give again? If you choose to operate in your life from a place of abundance, giving to receive, to give again, you will have arrived!

Gerry Rose runs INTEGRITY Networking Solutions in Oceanside, CA. He works with realtors who want to attract the right prospects and their affinity partners who want to generate more referrals. More than 10,000 businesses have been presented the INTEGRITY Networking Solutions system in San Diego, Riverside, and Orange Counties.

Gerry’s stimulating presentation Unlimited Prospects, Unlimited Referrals is ideally suited for small business owners, home-based businesses, and independent professionals who want clearer direction and want to attract more prospects, develop dynamic systems, and strengthen their companies’ accountability. Gerry does one on one consulting, conducts a range of keynote speeches from thirty minutes to full-day education workshops.

His books, Unlimited Prospects, Unlimited Referrals, 101 Tips to Attract Prospects, 101 Tips to Generate Referrals and Unlimited Prospects, Unlimited Referrals, Giving Your Clients What They WANT, So You Get What You WANT are currently available. Unlimited Prospects, Unlimited Referrals, Using Your Time, Energy, and Creativity to Create Value, will be available in 2006.

Gerry has more than 20 years’ experience directing business owners how to grow their businesses. He is a networking dynamo. Those who know him will assure you that he does a great job of bringing people together’which is why he started Integrity.

Involved with networking organizations since 1984, Gerry is an Accomplished Toastmaster, a member of Toastmaster International, and has chaired numerous chambers of commerce and non-profit organizations.

Are you truly committed to attracting the right prospects and generate more referrals?  If so then contact INTEGRITY Networking Solutions for availability and information.  You can contact Gerry by mail at 1610 Quiet Hills Drive, Oceanside, CA 92056.  Direct dial (760) 439-4623; e-mail to gerry@integritysd.com.  For more information, go to www.integritysd.com

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