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Selecting a Coach

I recently had a conversation with a colleague regarding some coaching he was receiving.  He was asked to list the top five things that I’m grateful/thankful for about myself and the top five things I’m less than thrilled with.  I thought it odd that someone who is coaching another would ask their client to focus on the negative (five things I’m less than thrilled with.)  Then I realized why a coach might do this.

Many coaches are interested in empowering their clients.  Some are interested in entrapping their clients.  Those who thrive on the idea of entrapment believe that only they can guide their clients.  Those who empower want to have their clients learn to think for themselves.  Empowering coaches suggest that their clients focus on the positive.

Positive feeding forward of ideas is essential for independence.  Teaching a client how to focus on the positive is simple.  Questioning clients with positive focused exercises will empower a client to be positive.  Having a client focus on positive emotions/feelings will allow the client to deal with negative feelings/emotions and turn them into positives.  Focusing on the negative produces negative results and negative emotion.  Dependency is created by negative emotion.  To confirm this, check the numbers of prescriptions for ‘happy pills’ sold in our pharmacies.

As one selects a coach independence becomes an issue.  Many are well served by being guided.  Once one finds someone to guide them successfully, there might be a need to be guided forever.  As long as one is aware of this dependency, it is OK to subject them to this.  Free thinkers will struggle with this relationship.  Free thinkers will want their independence.

We have all heard, “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can eat for a lifetime.”  The same is true when a coach teaches his clients how to be empowered.  If you know someone who is successful at multi-level marketing (MLM) and direct marketing business, they are successful because they learned a system that was duplicatable which then provides them success.

Those who deliberately coach to create dependent clients should be ashamed.  I shudder at the thought of someone doing this.  It is malicious.  Coaches who create this scenario believe that everyone needs to be dependent on another for the long term.  This could be true for the majority of the population.  Most people would rather be led than lead.

Perfect examples of this are working men and women.  Somewhere between 10 and 20 percent of our population are leaders (managers, supervisors, business owners, etc.)  The remainder receive their rewards by following a strong leader.  Yet, even as we understand the difference in the dynamic between follower/leader, 60 percent of our population lie their heads on their pillows each night asking the question, “What can I do to create my own paycheck?”  Many have created at least part of their income by creating their own “cottage” business (MLM.)  Each has been led for so long that they think it is OK to continue to be led even when they own their own business.  As they hire a coach they might continue to believe that it is OK to be coached long term.

I have long term relationships with coaches and clients that extend for years.  The only way that I engage in such a relationship is when I can work with a client/coach who wants to be empowered or empowers me to discover new areas of expertise.  The strength in these coaching relationships is that my clients/coaches have taught me to think for myself!

Gerry Rose runs INTEGRITY Networking Solutions in Oceanside, CA.  He works with people in business who want to attract the right prospects and generate more referrals.  More than 10,000 businesses have been presented the INTEGRITY Networking Solutions system in San Diego, Riverside, and Orange Counties.

Gerry’s stimulating presentation Unlimited Prospects, Unlimited Referrals is ideally suited for small business owners, home-based businesses, and independent professionals who want clearer direction and want to attract more prospects, develop dynamic systems, and strengthen their companies’ accountability.  Gerry does one on one consulting, conducts a range of keynote speeches from thirty minutes to full-day education workshops.

His book series, Unlimited Prospects, Unlimited Referrals, are available on the website, www.integritysd.com.

Gerry has more than 20 years’ experience directing business owners how to grow their businesses.  He is a networking dynamo.  Those who know him will assure you that he does a great job of bringing people together—which is why he started INTEGRITY.

Involved with networking organizations since 1984, Gerry is a Distinguished Toastmaster, a member of Toastmaster International, and has chaired numerous chambers of commerce and non-profit organizations.

Are you truly committed to attracting the right prospects and generate more referrals?  If so then contact INTEGRITY Networking Solutions for availability and information.  You can contact Gerry by mail at 1610 Quiet Hills Drive, Oceanside, CA 92056.  Direct dial (760) 439-4623; e-mail to gerry@integritysd.com.  For more information, go to www.integritysd.com

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